Getting a Laugh From the IRS - Does it get any Better????

Love this and wanted to share - a laugh is worth allot these days!!!!

One of the few times that the irs and a laugh are combined

Dad’s tax deductions get denied by the IRS, how he responds is brilliant

Michael CantrellAs tax day draws ever nearer, more and more Americans are guzzling antacids and nursing ulcers after watching their hard earned wages get sucked dry by the IRS.

In order to help wash down the misery that comes along with paying taxes, here’s the story of a dad who had his deductions denied by the IRS, but then responded in a rather genius way.

Black and White TV - or a Trip Down Memory Lane

It's time for a few chuckles - Lord knows, there's little enough in the world today...so read on, especially those of you who are a bit older.

Still working on my jewelry - come see at Lindasudimack.artfire.com - call me directly to purchase and I'm being very generous with my discounts. I will not have anything new on there until after we move - John packed my equipment!!! So what's there are all things I really don't want to move.

Subject: Black and White TV

 

 

BLACK AND WHITE TV "Good night and God bless."

Go all the way to the bottom past the pictures… I think you'll enjoy it. Black and White

 

 

 

 

 

 

Black and White (Under age 40? You won't understand.)

You could hardly see for all the snow, Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go. Pull a chair up to the TV set, 'Good Night, David. Good Night, Chet.'

My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't seem to get food poisoning.   My Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter and I used to eat it raw sometimes, too. Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown paper bag, not in ice pack coolers, but I can't remember getting e.coli.

Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake instead of a pristine pool (talk about boring), no beach closures then.    The term cell phone would have conjured up a phone in a jail cell, and a pager was the school PA system.

We all took gym, not PE...and risked permanent injury with a pair of high top Ked's (only worn in gym) instead of having cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles and built in light reflectors. I can't recall any injuries but they must have happened because they tell us how much safer we are now.

Flunking gym was not an option.... even for stupid kids! I guess PE must be much harder than gym.    Speaking of school, we all said prayers and sang the national anthem, and staying in detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention.   We must have had horribly damaged psyches. What an archaic health system we had then... Remember school nurses? Ours wore a hat and everything.   I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed to be proud of myself.   I just can't recall how bored we were without computers, Play Station, Nintendo, X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations.   We played 'king of the hill' on piles of gravel left on vacant construction sites, and when we got hurt, Mom pulled out the 48-cent bottle of mercurochrome (kids liked it better because it didn't sting like iodine did) and then we got our butt spanked.

Now it's a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10-day dose of a $49 bottle of antibiotics, and then Mom calls the attorney to sue the contractor for leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat.   We didn't act up at the neighbor's house either; because if we did we got our butt spanked there and then we got our butt spanked again when we got home.

I recall Donny Reynolds from next door coming over and doing his tricks on the front stoop, just before he fell off. Little did his Mom know that she could have owned our house. Instead, she picked him up and swatted him for being such a goof. It was a neighborhood run amuck.

To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they were from a dysfunctional family.   How could we possibly have known that we needed to get into group therapy and anger management classes?   We were obviously so duped by so many societal ills, that we didn't even notice that the entire country wasn't taking Prozac!   How did we ever survive?   LOVE TO ALL OF US WHO SHARED THIS ERA; AND TO ALL WHO DIDN'T, SORRY FOR WHAT YOU MISSED. I WOULDN'T TRADE IT FOR ANYTHING!   Pass this to someone and remember that life's most simple pleasures are very often the best.

 

WW 

Global Warming - Not in Arizona! !

Okay - I've had it - This is the fourth day in a row that I have had to wear one of my "northern" winter fleeces.  We live in the Phoenix area - the "Valley of the Sun" as it is also known...it is supposed to be hot here in the summer and comfortably warm in the winter...and it most definitely isn't - warm that is.

We spent Thanksgiving in Chicago and other than being with our children, I was most thankful for the fact that it wasn't freezing and snowing. I get back to Arizona and it precedes to snow in Scottsdale...it didn't snow in Chicago....Why here ????

I am no longer a winter fan - did you pick that feeling up??? I would much rather deal with 120 degrees here in the summer than have to lift one shovel of snow in a northern winter.  I grew up in New England and then lived in Northern Ohio for 30 something years and I  figuered that I had done my wintery penance.  We had a home in Colorado for skiing, so I really did enjoy the winter scene for quite some time....BUT, I am totally over those feelings now and I no longer want to have to wear my long green wool coat, gloves, boots, scarfs, all that stuff that you need just to walk down the driveway to get your mail.  I have no problem with long pants and long sleeves for winter in Arizona, but that's as far as I am willing to go without complaining about it. Needing my fleeces, indoors even, is almost more than I can bear.

You hear all this craziness about global warming - well it sure as h..l isn't happening here.  I can see snow on all the mountain tops around our home - the only good thing about it is that we are severely short on rain this year. So maybe this will help the water table.

We were driving home from northern Arizona last week, and it had snowed up there that day.  The snow was all the way down to Wikieup, "the rattlesnake capitol of the world".  Those snakes better have had their winter dens deep, or they won't be doing much rattling next year.  I must admit that that doesn't bother me a whole lot though.

Time to get back to work - think I'll make some snowflake earrings or an icicle necklace - look for them in my shop....Have a great day and I sincerely hope that it is warm where you are! ! !

TOOOOOO FUNNY

I have never copied an email as a blog - but this is too funny not to share. If you are the least bit squeamish about medical procedures, it may not seem funny to you...but I laughed till I cried and I thought that I was going to have to give my husband CPR....so here it is...

This is one of the funniest things I have ever read.   
    
ABOUT THE WRITER: Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald. 
    
  
Colonoscopy Journal: 
  
I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. 
  
A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis . 
 
Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. 
    
I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!' 
  
I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven.  I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America 's enemies.  
I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. 
 
Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor. 
   
Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep.  You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons). Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon... 
    
The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.' 
  
This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground. 
  
  
MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic here, but,  have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch?  This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt.  You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently.  You eliminate everything.  And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet. 
   
After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep. 
   
The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous.  Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage.  I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?'  How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough. 
  
At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked. 
    
Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was 
already lying down.  Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. 
    
At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode.  You would have no choice but to burn your house. 
  
When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist.  I 
did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere.  I was seriously nervous at this point. 
    
Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand. 
    
There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song  was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA.  I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate. 
    
'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me. 
    
'Ha ha,' I said.  And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade.  If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like. 
    
I have no idea.  Really.  I slept through it.  One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood. 
    
Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt.  I felt excellent.  I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ. 
  
    
On the subject of Colonoscopies... 
  
Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous! A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies: 
  
1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!' 
    
2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?' 
   
3. 'Can you hear me NOW?' 
    
4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?' 
    
5. 'You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married.' 
   
6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?' 
    
7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...' 
   
8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!' 
    
9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!' 
    
10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.' 
    
11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?' 
    
12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.' 
    
And the best one of all: 
  
13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?' 

Beam Me Up, Scotty

Okay, I think it's a pretty well established fact here that I am definitely a techno tard - I try, I really do, but it just ain't there.  A few weeks ago, I got a new computer, because my husband's had crashed and since I am now the one with the business, I got the new puter.  I love it and getting it up and going was tougher than I would have liked, but basically I got there, between me and the geek squad ( God bless them).

I elected to not have them make my recovery disks - it was a $90.00 charge that I didn't want to pay after all the new stuff and softwear and backup, etc., etc., etc., that  I needed for the puter.  During one of the numerous trips that we made to Best Buy - my personal geek told me that I really needed to do something about recovery disks - that if my baby crashed, I would basically be up old sh...t creek without them.  So on my next trip I told the geek, Jason, who was helping me that I thought I needed to do something about recovery disks - and he said, no big deal, I'll sell you the disks - it's easy, just go into the program menu and it will be under the section on your computer --- just click on the part about "recovery disks".  He said that it was time consuming, but easy.

Just once I wish what someone told me about computers would be true - unfortunately, it was relatively fast, but not so easy.  I started this travail,because there was nothing about recovery disks in my computer, out by calling Best Buy to talk to the geek squad - and was put on hold. A very annoying voice told me that I was second in line and fool that I am, I decided to wait. Well wait I did, and after about 1/2 hour I was put through and immediately, cut off. I waited about an hour and then called again, this time I was third in line and decided not to wait. A few hours later, I called and got through - unfortunately, the person that I spoke to needed to be fired.  Believe me when I tell you that this man did not finish first in charm school - because he was alone, he would not go look at a computer like mine so he couldn't answer my questions. He told me that I needed to call technical support and I said that all the help my husband and I had received up til now was from this store and this geek squad and that's who my sizable check had gone to.  He proceeded to inform me that I was in this mess because I was too cheap to pay the $90.00 for them to do it, and that the person who had helped me, was not a geek squad member, just someone who answered the phone.  By  this time my patience was wearing  a bit thin - I said something to the effect that this person had on a geek squad shirt with his name on it, and I was supposed to know that he wasn't qualified to do this by ESP???  He'd already given me the next phone number so when he started off again - I did a rude thing, my mother would have frowned at...but it felt good. I told him that he really needed to try and learn some people skills and hung up

I got technical support rather easily - too many thingies to push, but I got there and spoke to a very nice woman named, Civica,...I wondered if this might be an omen that someone was going to treat me politely...and they did, but she had no idea in hell what I was talking about and told me that she was going to connect me to the command deck.  I felt like I was on the starship Enterprize and Capt. Kirk was waiting around the corner to help me.  It was actually Daniel on the first call and Dustin on the second, they filled in for Scotty and Mr. Spock, but they got me where I needed to be and I now have 3 recovery disks if my baby  gets fatally ill.

I have come to the conclusion lately, that nothing is ever easy anymore - and some people take a perverse pleasure in trying to make things worse, but if you can see the funny side (and there usually is, at least one funny side) your life will be allot more enjoyable.  As soon as that picture of the Enterprize entered my head, I knew that I was going to get through this thing, and I thought that it needed sharing and that's what I'm doing...have a good one all and come visit my shop - it's more fun than my computer.

Further Adventures of a Techno-tard

Last week my husbands' computer took one last breathe and died.  We mourned appropriately and decided to get along with one computer...however, John, my husband, must have "crash computer" fingers or something. I have never had a problem with the dreaded blue screens that he had when he booted up...but after using my computer for only three days, he managed to get two of those awful screens on my set up.  We decided that it was time for a new technological baby in our house, so we traipsed off to Best Buy to hopefully find a geek that spoke English that we understood.

Why are there never salespeople for techy stuff that are past their twenties?  I always feel so old when I have to buy some techy equipment.  Of course, I am old, but I do hate feeling that way.  There was a woman in the geek squad area and she worked there and she had to be pushing 60, and I thought she got lost from accounting or the steno pool...she really looked out of place. Whoa - slap my face for promoting age discrimination...I do apologize.

Anyone who knows me, or reads my blogs, knows how much I not only hate change, but tie that in with something to do with technology and I am not a happy camper.  So this last week has not been a pleasant one in our house, either for me or my husband.  I have been at the screen way too many hours and if he wanted to eat, he had to cook...not his favorite past time.  Right now, he's steaming the floors, please don't anyone tell him that I am having fun writing my blog, not slaving over this d... machine trying to make it do what I want.

Why is it that in making things bigger and better, the creators assume that we know how to bridge the gaps from old to new - or we are willing to discard the old and fully embrace the new?   Hey, I'm almost waxing philosophy here - heavens forbid. In any case, I used AOL...and as most of you must know, only the least geekest among us use that, but, in my defense, I started using that when it was about all that was available and  I am not now changing my email that is printed and stored everywhere and with everyone that I know.  I had a huge contact list, divided into very logical divisions so I could send "sale" mail when I wanted to, contact a couple of groups I belong to, family, different groups of friends, etc. etc. So I go into AOL the other day and they no longer have groups - so all my contacts, probably more than a thousand are all together, and a vast majority I have no idea who they are or where they belong.  There is no fixing something like that - and it not only makes me irrationally angry ( there's a better word, but I hate to be vulgar in my blog) but it really mucks up one of my main means of promoting my jewelry studio. Maybe if I'd know ahead of time, I could have somehow coped with it, going so far as purchasing some softwear where I could have entered these lists and then had them downloaded when my info was brought from the old to the new.

Maybe I am not non techy - maybe I am anti-techy. Something  that is supposed to make our lives simpler and more organized and easier, should not present the problems that it does.  I realize that I am pretty clueless when it comes to this stuff, but how in hell should I know that my groupings were about to dissappear....was this an educational gap? Should I have known this intuitively?  I knew I was going to continue to use AOL for my mail and I assumed my groupings would be along for the ride.  I don't think I would be as upset as I am if I had any idea how to fix it....ah well, it's done, on to the next adventure.

I am now using Chrome for my whatchamacallit instead of Microsoft explorer which I was told that I HAD to do - I am not using AOL as my gateway to the internet - which I am assuming was really lame - so I  guess that I have climbed a few rungs on the techy ladder, but not enough...til next time.

I am a Techno-tard

They say that in order to address a problem that you must admit that you have it.  Well, when it comes to the lack of computer knowledge, I have it in spades! ! !   I always said that I was deficient in computerese - or I was technically challenged - or one of those all encompassing phrases that covered my problem....but the other day, I was on the forums on Artfire and someone called herself a "techno-tard" and I fell in love with the term.  Not only does it describe accurately the malady that I suffer from, but it is euphonius to boot. So the world should take notice - I am officially announcing that "I AM A TECHNO-TARD" .  I guess what follows is a day in the life of a techno-tard - or better yet, further adventures of a techno-tard.

Artfire is running a "social media boot camp" right now and I signed up because it seemed to me that I can use all the help I can get.  Our first thing to do was to get a facebook account up and running, with both a personal page and a business page.  And much to my amazement, I was ahead of the curve, I had both. Then they wanted us to shorten the URL on our business page after we got 25 fans, which I had...so I followed the directions and this is the message that I got from facebook -

"To access this page, you'll need to switch from using Facebook as your page to using Facebook as yourself."

I hope this makes as little sense to you, the reader, as it did to me.  One simple sentence and I was totally lost. How could anyone understand what they meant?  I mean, I may be a techno-tard, but I am not stupid, at least I wasn't the last time that I checked.  So my URL is still an ugly long series of letters and numbers, unlike all the other campers, and even with personal help from several kind souls, I have not conquered the URL shortening.  It's depressing - I may have to go back to my cabin and hide under my cot or inside my trunk.

As a techno-tard, I have several pet peeves concerning computer use.  Why do they have to ask me if I'm "Sure that I want to proceed" or "Sure that I want to delete this" or "Sure that this is what I want to do" - idiots!!! Of course I am not sure - I don't know what I am doing - so they ask this unsure individual and I have to say "NO" - and consequently, nothing gets done.  Why couldn't they give mutiple choices, like if you proceed this will specific thing will happen, or do this and something else will happen?  I'm afraid if I go past these warnings that my computer will crash and I will be lost forever without any access to technology.

Another thing that really annoys me, and it took me forever to get past it, is that dam pop up window that comes up when you visit a web site and it says something about do you want to only see the material that was delivered safely or do you want to see everything and risk infecting and maybe, killing your machine.  Do you remember the scene in the movie Speed  where Kenau Reeves is telling everyone on the bus about the bomb that is on the bus that's gonnal blow if they slow down or anyone gets off the bus - and Sandra Bullock stands up and forcefully says "STOP, you are scaring all these people" ?  Well, I feel like those people whenever I see that dam blue pop up. I just wish that they would leave me in blissful ignorance once in while.

I don't know if there's a 10 step program for techno-tards or if it's a permanent condition.  I know that I have come a long way in my computer knowledge, but I also know that I have a hell of allot further to go than I have come. I think I am going to quit camp - I really was feeling pretty good about my expanding skills, and then one stupid sentence sends me for a loop and qualifies me as a failure at the easiest task that probably will be assigned.  The only thing is - they are going to be discussing Twitter - and that means, maybe, I could send tweats...don't know how much business it could generate, but it just sounds like fun..."don't bother me, I'm tweating"  Of course, with a line like that, my husband might have me committed with a bird fixation...I'll have to think on that one!!!

Getting Rid of the Elephant in Your Studio

I feel like I have spent the last several weeks killing my children! No, I am not a child killer, but I really needed to weed and feed all the jewelry that I have made since the get go and it was really, really hard.  I now have several containers of sterling silver to be recycled and lots of odd beads to think about all over again. With the price of metals today - I may just have made a sizable amount of money, one more bonus involved in this task.

This has been hard, because I really like what I make - if I don't, I rip it apart when I make it and start over, so any finished product has a small place in my heart.  I had pieces from when I  started doing this seriously, but didn't have the slightest idea of what I was doing.  I have some interesting coils, some hellacious wrapped loops, that take allot of imagination to be called either wrapped or looped, lots of clasps made out of way too fine wire - they look okay, but as clasps that don't quite cut it.  My wire ends never seemed to get tucked, because I could never figure out where to tuck it. There are lots of strung things that have bare wire on the closed jumpring and no crimp covers - I was so excited about these pieces when I made them, and now they look bare and unfinished to me.  I thought the other day that I couldn't believe that I sold things like this and that people bought them...I was proud of them and the people were happy. I'm not even going to mention the eye glass leashes that I truly started on...it is honestly a miracle that they have lasted this long and that is all that I am going to say about them, except, they deserve an honorable death.  Ah well  - guess this is where the old "live and learn" adage comes in.

I have about four piles while I am working.  The first one is for pieces that I can still use for donations, either a couple of schools that have auctions or the local woman's shelter. The second pile is things that need to die a fast and easy death - they must be demolished - completely, and hopefully the parts can be reused.  The greenies can finally be proud of me. I do the dirty deed as quickly as possible, so I don't have second thoughts. I have a third pile for things that are functional but need some sort of rehabbing - a new clasp, crimp covers, whatever it takes to make the piece sellable again. Unfortunately, I have a fourth pile and this is for things that I can't deal with just yet - they don't really fit into one of the first three piles, but they definately need something - if only for me to make up my mind.

Until you face this elephant that is growing in your studio, you have no idea how hard this can be.  I think that we all have storage problems and I really couldn't fit much more in my studio, and I needed to dejewelrize (new word) my living room/ dining room. If I take any more space, my husband is going to have to move out, and since we are now down to one car, that could present a whole new set of problems - maybe he could sleep in the car???? In any case, this is hard - we created these pieces - we labored over the designs - we cleaned - oxidized - whatever it took to make them, we did it - and now we have to undo it and it is a difficult task.  We have the ultimate emotional involvement in our jewelry - almost like our kids - and to destroy them really goes against my grain. However, it is a task that will give you a sense of accomplishment when you are done, it'll free up lots of storage space, and last, but by no means least, it needs to be done. 

The quide line that I use is - would I be willing to show this piece of jewelry to one of the boutique owners that carries my jewelry now in their shop??? This really cuts the mustard for me - I am merciless in applying this criteria to my stockpile.  You might have a totally different line of thought - depending on what you do with your jewelry after it is finished, but there should be some devining rod that you can use. Figure out that base criteria that you are going to use, adhere to it, and start cleaning up.

Now I have to admit something to all of you who might read this post - I came into my studio this afternoon with the intention of finishing up my jewelry cleanup - and somehow I found myself sitting at my computer, writing about the task rather than completing the task - I have been at this for about four weeks, in little dibs and dabs, and I probably only have one good afternoon left to finish it up, but what's left are the hardest decisions, and I keep wanting to delay them...Now I have spent enough time that I can put this off for a couple more days, because it's almost dark out and the lighting where I have this set up is just too poor to work in after the sun goes down.  Great excuse, what????

Accident Waiting To Happen

I know you have all heard that statement - this or that person is an "accident waiting to happen".  I have heard it many times and sometimes in reference to myself.  I never really thought about it allot until the other night...and I have not thought about much else since then.  I really wanted to write about it, but I kept thinking that I was going to look like such a dork, maybe, I shouldn't...but, it is tooooooo funny not to share, so here goes.

Time for bed and I head back to perform my nightly abolutions - and being the good wife of a retired dentist, I filled up my water pick and went to work on my teeth. I'm water flossing away when the pick just sorta slipped in my hand...I do have the excuse that there is allot of water involved here...and most of it is dripping heavily out of your mouth.  So, it slipped, rather forcibly, and ended up, up my nose.  This was embarrassing enough, but it gets worse...I gave myself the worst bloody nose, I think that I have ever had.

Now - the good news here is, not many people can make the claim that they have been injurred by an errant waterpick - maybe the company will want to do a documentary on me, and pay me lots and lots of money. So perhaps, that is a little far fetched, but I bet you don't know anyone else who has been attacked by a water pick and lived to tell about it. Or at least, was stupid enough to tell the whole free world about it. 

Have a great day and if you're looking for some great jewelry, please visit my shop, I do jewelry a whole lot better than I do my teeth! ! !

Never Trust Your Children

Continuing in the same vein that my first two blogs are let me tell you a story that might amuse you. I must admit that I didn't see the humor in this situation for several months, but I guess I do now.  I think that it illustrates perfectly the difference between the techies and the non techies - or those who were raised with computers and those of us who weren't.  I also think that it illustrates how differently these generations think.

I was toying with the idea of a web site of my own and decided to talk to my daughter about it.  She is a photographer( named one of the 20 top wedding photographers in the country last year - sorry, proud mother - her site is Artisan Events) and has had a web site forever.  Does lots of stuff with it and was also in the throws of opening a web based business. So we have this long and involved discussion about the pros and cons of me having my own site, as opposed to opening a (my) shop where there were other artisans selling their wares and I just had to follow the web sites' protocol. We talked about the cost of development and the cost of this being on a server as opposed to the costs of a site like Artfire, where I am, which is a monthly fee...or at a place like 1000 markets, where I was, which charged a % of any sales.  It was a good and involved conversation and when we were heading to the end I asked her, what to me was a perfectly logical question, which was..........."what do I look under in the yellow pages to find someone to write my program????"

I will make a bet that to most anyone over maybe, 55, that this question makes allot of sense.  I will also make a bet that anyone much younger than that is still laughing.  My child, flesh of my flesh, told the whole free world about this - and she didn't just do it verbally, she put it on Facebook so that the 1000's of her friends could have a good laugh too.  I found out about this the next day when my other daughter called me, laughing, of course, and the first words out of her mouth  were - " You didn't really ask Amanda where in the (snicker, snicker) yellow pages you could find someone to write a program for you, did you"

There's not much more to say -

Teaching an Old Dog New Tricks

Okay, according to my computer guru, the more of these that I can post, the more serious that google will take me.  Does that sound as stupid to all of you as it does to me?  I am actually taking an action, spending a little bit of the little bit of free time that I have to impress something that lives in machine?

As you know from my first post, I am a very non techy person.  In my first life, before retirement, I was, among other things, a dental consultant and fell into being a national expert on dental software implementation...I was on technology's cutting edge.  Unfortunately, that was in the 80's and it is now 2010 and I am so far from the edge that I can't even see it anymore.

After retirement I became a jewelry artisan and have a shop at Artfire. Before that I had a shop at 1000 Markets, and unfortuately they were sold and then I moved to Artfire.  This is where I am now spinning my wheels and trying to cope with the technology of the 2000's with a brain that was trained in the mid 1900's. Let me tell you, it ain't easy. I am dealing with things that I never heard of until last week...caches...SOE (or is it SEO's??) ...links ...and let us not forget, clickable links....they even want me to tweet, and I'm so tone deaf, I can't sing...I will have a kiosk to connect my facebook page to my shop - isn't a kiosk one of those freestanding, small shops in malls???  I just found out that "tabs" and "bookmarks" are the same thing - boy, you could have fooled me, without even trying...

I may be older - but I do love to learn.  So in the back of my mind is a desire to conquer this monster. But...I discovered a connection here that I bet that no one else has seen.  When they stopped printing hard copy documentation for software and hardware...I stopped learning about it.  I upgraded my accounting software in the early 90's and there was no documentation except on the computer...I could either do the computer or read the directions, it was impossible to do both at the same time, and in order to maintain my sanity, I decided that I needed to stop doing this....and I did.  I did not learn one new thing about these machines until I was forced to learn a little for 1000 Markets and now allot for Artfire. It is very hard to relearn the way that you learn...trust me on this.  I have printed out almost 2 inches of instruction from Artfire in less than a month.  I know that I can afford the monthly fee to be on the site, but I am concerned if I will be able to afford the reams of paper that I may need.

That's about it for now - but this may turn into a continuing saga...Have a good one all.